Scripting: Use Your Words

Scripting is a specific type of scaffolding that involves providing language to children (or anyone really) to handle challenges.

People often say to kids, “Use your words.” The problem is that usually, they don’t have them. We need to teach our children what words to use by scripting for them. We want our children to have the language to handle challenges, so we need to provide it and have them repeat it back. That helps them to develop the neural pathways they need to use the language in the future.

In the song “Use Your Words,” Danni provides examples of how to script language for common challenges children face: asking for a turn, giving someone a turn, and apologizing.

Sharing can be difficult for kids, but the difficulty is not as much about the sharing itself; it is about having control over the situation. If a child wants something and doesn’t know how to ask, their natural response is to take it. If they have the language to ask and know they will get a turn soon, they are usually able to wait.

When we ask a child to end their turn without warning, it feels unfair to them. If we teach them to say, “I will give you a turn when I am finished,” it gives them a feeling of control. Interestingly, most of the time, they give it up pretty quickly once they say the line.

The final verses provide scripts for apologies. When we feel like someone has “wronged” us, our brains really feel like they need an apology. But when we are angry, and Gordy is in charge, we aren’t usually ready to apologize. It is important to wait until kids are ready, script conversations, and help them get to a point where they are ready to apologize.

Scripting is useful in so many situations–from teaching children how to order a meal to teaching them how to respond to us reasonably when they are teenagers. The key is that we use challenges as an opportunity to teach valuable resilience skills.

Now that you’ve read the article, check out the music video!